barry burton
Anti-Dentite
Thursday morning when I walked up to my cube I found it adorned with cheap party decorations in a cowboy / western theme. Cowboy hats, sheriff stars, hand cuffs… and a box containing the “You might be a redneck if…” board game (an officially licensed Jeff Foxworthy product). Cathy later explained that she was going for a redneck theme, but the party store in San Jose had no decorations along the lines of Confederate flags and the like. I guess she thought cowboy was the next closest thing?
That afternoon I had a dentist appointment, so now my teeth are squeaky clean. I still can’t stop feeling the back of the teeth with my tongue… it just feels so different, so good. I like it. When I signed in at the dentist office, the receptionist asked if I was free for the summer (most of the local schools finished the school year the week before last). I attempted to give her a way out by offering only a confused look, but she didn’t catch on and instead went in for the kill — “you know, are you out of school yet for the summer?” [then noticing my confused look], “Oh, are you taking summer school?” I replied that I was 25 (this was a lie, but 25 is such a nice number). Not content to cut her losses, she explains further — “Ohh, I thought that you were 18 and still in high school.” This was enlightening because I had assumed she thought me to at least be in college. Pertinent to this story is the fact that I wasn’t even wearing a hat at all, much less backwards.
A few minutes later the receptionist leads me back to the cleaning room where the stressed out looking dental hygienist is cleaning up or getting ready or something. I’m reclining in the chair when she finally turns around. She cracks a big smile while saying, “Oh, I remember you!” She did clean my teeth once before, but it was an uneventful experience. So I am a little perplexed, but she then starts asking why I am back so soon. She thought she had cleaned my teeth two or three weeks prior, when in fact, as the chart illuminated for her, it was last December. Then she proceeds to be very friendly and talkative and smiley happy while cleaning my teeth. This struck my as a bit odd. The receptionist later walked back into the cleaning room, and the hygienist needed the receptionist to carry out some task for her. In an effort to convince the receptionist to oblige, the hygienist offered to get her a date with this guy. So yeah, I’m slow, but I didn’t get it until the receptionist starts asking me the age of the oldest girl I’ve ever dated. As an aside here, I would guess that both women are in their mid forties. It was a strange and confusing visit. I didn’t so much like it. At least I didn’t have to be put under the gas… not a savory combination.
In other news, Martinelli’s (at least the purchased at Costco variety) now comes in plastic apple shaped bottles. Disappointing.
To conclude, Brett finally updated the Primavera website so go post a comment and bug him to write more and about more accessible topics. It will make me feel happy and slightly useful as a person.
